


Miranda: Please Anyone But Shepard - Why Her?

by FemShem



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect - Various Authors, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst and Humor, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, BioWare, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon LGBTQ Character, Canon LGBTQ Female Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Community: femslash100, Community: queer_fest, F/F, FemShep - Freeform, Female Homosexuality, Femslash, Femslash February, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Pride, Gay Sex, Humor, International Women's Day, LGBTQ Character, LGBTQ Female Character, LGBTQ Themes, Lesbian Character, Lesbian Sex, Lesbians in Space, Light Angst, N7 (Mass Effect), N7 Day, No Lesbians Die, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV Lesbian Character, POV Queer Character, Pre-Femslash, Queer Culture, Queer Friendly, Queer Themes, Romantic Fluff, Science Fiction, Science Fiction & Fantasy, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sexual Humor, Women Being Awesome, Women In Power, Women in the Military, Women's Underwear, misha-moose-dean-burger-lover's Angsty-Angst Week, women with women
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-12
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:21:02
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 21,324
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23605204
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FemShem/pseuds/FemShem
Summary: Miranda finds the one person she thinks she disdains, and she thinks loathes her...might be the one person who can get underneath all her armor, and she finds herself trying to get underneath Shepards.
Relationships: Miranda Lawson & Female Shepard, Miranda Lawson/Female Shepard, Miranda Lawson/Shepard
Comments: 16
Kudos: 69
Collections: Both Yuri/Lesbian and non yuri/Lesbian, Bring Them Back Fic: Where Queer Female Characters Live On!, Dramatical Lesbians, Femslash Friday, Femslash that's sweet and real., GAY Fics, Gay Video Game Fanfiction, In Angst We Trust, LGBT Fest 2016, Lesbian Adult Content, Let's Get Legally Gay Married, Queer Characters Collection, Queer Fics, Queer Gen Subcollection, Sad/Cheating/Angst-y, Sleeping Lesbian Shinanigans, The Annual Femslash Kinkmeme, era’s favourite queer fics, femslash100, femslash100 drabbletag6, femslash100 kinks drabble cycle, gay, gay bbys, ☆ Homoerotica / Lesbianism / Yuri ☆





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, I found myself replaying the Mass Effect series. There really should have been a Mirand FemShep romance option IMHO. Most of what I found written recently, wayyyyyy out of character voice, or guys writing stuff to disempower women, or BDSM power play that was just out of character...and I generally play full renegade FemShep. According to BioWare only 20 percent of people roll FemShep and 90 percent of people play paragon.
> 
> So, Im trying to make FemShep a bit nicer.

Miranda Lawson, mostly genetic clone and vanity project of her father Henry Lawson, was in a quandary for the first time in her life. Shepard was a problem that plagued her. Nothing she did was good enough for her, or at least that how she felt.

Her father had expected nothing less from her than perfection at any cost her entire life while under his many roofs.

As soon as she was able she left home to work for Cerberus, a pro-human group with a bad reputation, but possible the only organization who could protect her and give her refuge from her father.

Her last project, code name: Lazarus, involved bringing Commander Jane Shepard, savior of the galaxy back to life, literally on both accounts. Miranda Lawson wasn’t just an esteemed scientist for a penchant for impossible tasks, but a powerful biotic who could level a battlefield with her powers. Her stunning good looks made her age seem more youthful than possible, but for all achievements: her current CO (and last project) Shepard, refused to begrudge her even the faintest compliment on anything. The Illusive Man (known only by his code name), who ran Cerberus, had left Shepard in charge, and with humanities fate hanging in the balance, he needed Shepard to do what only she could do.

Build a team, instead of an army, and fight the geth, reapers, collectors, whatever they were to find and stop whatever was destroying human colonies before it decimated humankind.

Truth be known she had more in common with Shepard and her father than she would like to admit. Shepard was a perfect “bloody human specimen” (or homo sapien sapien to be exact). Where her father had her tailor made to be as close to perfect as possible. Her only flaws or limitations came from the fact that her genetic code was based on his. She could only be the best version of him he could be…a son would be too competitive in the wrong ways, so she was the first of a long life of offspring he let live. She had seen younger offspring culled out during her lifetime. She lived in constant fear and with good reason.

She had a gorgeous perfectly symmetrical face, chestnut long hair, blazing blue eyes with a perfect endowed body match, and she looked poured into any uniform. Her looks were designed to give her and an edge and she used them to set others on edge or as at least use it as a distraction.

Her mostly white form-fitting textured skin suit trimmed with black accentuated every curve; however, anything she wore had a similar effect. There was little left to the imagination, but she had found any clothing that was less revealing made her body seem more enticing. She passed for one hell an unforgettable Alliance Officer more than a few times in black regs (undercover), but her current approach and outfit was more honest in her opinion.

As soon as she was old enough to run away from her insane controlling abusive father and be an asset, she used her daily trained biotic powers, IQ, and multiple degrees to the one bidder she knew that would take her, Cerberus, and challenge her at the same time. So, she ran away as a young teen betting everything on her perceived superiority. She was anything but confident at that time, because of her father’s varying forms of punishment for falling short of perfection; however, there was one who saw that potential differently, The Illusive Man.

Through Cerberus her education continued by giving her projects with greater difficulty and responsibility incrementally until Lazarus, which might as well have been impossible had it gone to anyone else in the universe.

But she had taken a dead Alliance Specter and brought her back to life, not just a difficult task…but even with unlimited resources she (and everyone else) doubted another could have done it. Now Jane Shepard was up and running around 6 months ahead of schedule without any insurance that she would even go along with Cerberus plans, much less if she was 100%.

Now the Illusive Man after nearly 20 years of service and pulling off the bloody impossible and brought Shepard back to life, with full neurallogical function (just as she was), and she was bloody well having to take orders from the woman she had rebuilt.

On the battlefield she was impossible, leading every team, as though lesser assignments couldn’t be done by other bloody people, and not risk the CO. Worse, she seemed to revel in it, against Miranda’s bid for caution. Shepard’s response, if the XO was so worried, she could come along and make certain she stayed safe.

Plus, Shepard kept an impossible tempo. After any battle Miranda was wiped, even with enhancements she didn’t see how Shepard kept up her pace, and at least for the moment Miranda accompanied her on all her missions though all other crew members were rotated out. 

It was clear to Miranda that Shepard didn’t trust her XO on the Normandy on her own, so she took her everywhere. It was infuriating.

It wasn’t Miranda’s talents were in question. She was pretty sure Shepard didn’t trust her at the most basic level, even though Miranda bloody well kept her alive as she ran headfirst into every damn assault, and then Shepard always gave that cheeky grin as she was about to go headlong into something horrific monstrosity that she was certain could wipe out battalions of Krogans or Turians. Shepard always shot her a sideways knowing glance.That damned half grin. It evoked something in Miranda. Something she couldn’t quite explain. She wouldn’t let her distract heron the battlefield, but she would see it in her dreams or day dreams. It evoked something in her.  
However, time and time again, Shepard, Miranda, and whatever crew 3rd crew member at her side would take down the impossible: again, again, and again. If there were enough healthy crew and the mission seemed to call for it, Miranda would ask for a Beta squad, but usually it was headed by the Turian she favored from her previous mission. He was a good leader, but it still undermined her authority as far as she was concerned, even if Shepard did give into the request.

When Shepard was still being rebuilt from the dead, Miranda learned everything there was to know about the woman, no matter how small or mundane.

No fact was too small.

That being said, Shepard unconscious on a slab, had no semblance to Shepard in real life. She lived up to her reputation beyond her hype.

Shepard had a preference toward women, so Miranda thought early on she could play that to her advantage, but Jane bloody Shepard held her more than at bay. She wouldn’t go as far to say as disdain, but warm fuzzies she didn’t invoke. Miranda wasn’t accustomed to the cold shoulder if she turned her attention to anyone. She could bed anyone she pleased, but this woman was impossible in every way.

She should have put that damn control chip in her head no matter what the Illusive Man said, but he thought it would change her somehow. There was no controlling this woman. Shepard was less than pleased when Miranda mentioned it to her, but she hoped it would broker a peace between her and the Illusive Man since she already hated Miranda.

She had to be the same as before she died. The same Commander Shepard. She couldn’t just be brought back to life, no, he wanted the impossible and Operative Lawson gave it to him, and earned her multiple royal headaches multiple times a day.

Every member of the crew, at some point, gave Miranda a once over or their eyes trailed passed her as she walked past, but Shepard. She just refused to be impressed by her looks, mind, or battle skills. She complimented everyone on the bloody Normandy, but never the XO. She even liked the bloody computer.

Lawson nearly laughed at the fact that the “Ice Queen” as she was known in Cerberus was being beaten by her own game, but when Shepard sent out a team building exercise for her to fill out and take notes on, Lawson practically jumped over her desk with a full head of steam when she saw it and set off to face the Commander. There had to be a reason why Lawson fell short in Shepard’s opinion, and it was frankly driving her mad.

Miranda practically stormed out of her office directly into the Commander.

“Dinner Date?” Shepard offered amused as Miranda clearly had a data pads in her hand and was confounded by Shepard’s amusement as she practically almost bowled her over; however, Shepard was always quick on her feet and safely saved her bowl from hitting the ground. She might have been meandering toward Miranda’s office. Shepard appeared to be blowing on a bowl of noodles to cool them off.

Miranda would literally run into the one person she was looking for…and then have a loss for what to say.

“Everyone is saying the grub is edible now that I got our plumber some spices. I thought I would try the ramen. It’s practically impossible to screw up spicy chicken ramen. I mean of all the things to cut corners on…the guy who plunges the toilets is in charge of cooking? Cerberus cuts corners on food? An army runs on its stomach and it affects morale, I would think Cerberus would have put this into its rubric. I cost 4 billion credits, the Normandy cost 100’s of billions, and you guys couldn’t stock up on some spices and a cook for a suicide million?” Shepard blowing on the pasta didn’t cool the noodles off enough for consumption and ended up swearing as she tried to eat the fiery little things.

It was the closest thing Miranda had to a laugh in weeks. It started as a smirk, then giggle, then she just flat out laughed.

“You’re fucking kidding me. I just had to injure myself on a noodle to get you to crack. I’ll call you on pizza night. Seriously, you should watch me fail at the Martial Arts programs every day.”

“You don’t know any Martial Arts?” Miranda blinked. She figured Shepard knew how to kill things every way there was a way to kill something.

“I prefer a long-range shotgun, thick armor, and shields…that never made my list. Though I’m still pretty good at killing things. Though these noodles could kill at whatever temperature he handed them to me at. Want some? If you cool them down enough, it’s almost like food.” Shepard smiled.

“You can’t have EDI teach any form of martial arts. She has no feel for it. You need a sparring partner. She’s just as likely to kill you or teach you every move wrong. She’s fantastic for a warfare suite for the Normandy, but Ninjutsu she doesn’t even understand the basics.”

“Here try a noodle.” Originally, she thought Shepard was trying to get her to over where everyone was having dinner, she didn’t realize she was offering her a bite of her own food carefully rolled on a fork. “C’mon it won’t bite.”

Miranda was truly conflicted. One, Shepard had never gone out of her way to be nice to her, and two, as she was having noodles shoved in her face her pulse quickened. She could smell the Commander’s dried sweat from the earlier mission. Placing dinner before filing reports, or whatever she did.

She never been this close to her outside of a combat situation. She took an uncertain bite. It actually was pretty good, compared to most anything that came out of the mess hall.

As soon as Shepard removed her presence, Lawson missed it. She liked that one shared moment. Shepard bombarding her space with the tactfulness that she had with all things. She felt her skin brush up against her. It occurred to her; they had never cordially touched since Shepard had been awakened.

The commander was talking to her and she had completely missed everything she said still caught up on the touch “What? Sorry? I’m behind on my reports.”

“Don’t write them. My ship. My rules. Besides, I asked, we have a date tomorrow or what?”

About one million things shot through Miranda’s mind. Some quite elicit, and she was sure she heard the question wrong. “Ummm. Date?”

“Yeah, if you can teach me Ninjutsu better than EDI, meet me on the Cargo Deck at 0800, and don’t break anything Dr. Chakwas can’t fix.” Shepard waved her hand and headed toward the elevator.

It was everything Miranda could do not to lose her grip on the datapad. She slipped back into her cabin/workspace and landed on the couch. At first, she tried to sit there normally and go over some messages but gave up and poured herself a glass of Riesling. She knew she was in trouble if she was going for sweets of any sort. I mean, she could have said “Date” and meant fruit for all Miranda was paying attention, and suddenly in her mind she wasn’t just bedding Shepard for loyalty to Cerberus…

She wondered if she was biting down her neck for the first time if she could instantly make her nipple hard enough to cut glass. Miranda felt beyond a warm rush of excitement when the Commander touched her, she was soaked through to her underwear and wondered if Shepard was the type to make her wait to come and draw it out or if she would be merciful and taste her, running her tongue over her, she knew she couldn’t last long given her time to climax as she grabbed hold of that chin length knowing that she could commit to a much longer bout the 2nd time around.

What was wrong with her? Miranda had never been attracted to a woman before, and if she had been it certainly wouldn’t have been Shepard.

Why had her brain flooded her with all those thoughts? She wondered if Shepard was the type to like toys. Giving or receiving…or both. Or if she was just find with what nature gave her…Miranda thought she would be happy to explore to the missing data…she was pulled out of the revelry by the door chime.

“Enter” she answered without thinking (or hoping) it might be Shepard. Perhaps it was some sort of joke.

Jacob was at the door. This was turning into the worst day of her life. “To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?”

Jacob laughed, she would not have tolerated it from anyone else…well perhaps Shepard. She was not going to dissect that last thought at all. Just file it away. “I was sitting at the mess hall. I just saw that whole exchange. Be glad I was the only one looking in that direction, because though I know you better than anyone else, and you might be the Ice Queen to everyone onboard, BUT that was not the Ice Queen I just saw.”

“Bloody well get your ass in here.”

Jacob came through the door smiling, happy to see Miranda off her game for once. “How the mighty have fallen. Just took the only woman in the universe who saved the universe and the Illusive Man thinks lightening can strike twice. You almost didn’t seem frigid. I swear you were going to swoon.” Jacob seriously started laughing until he was crying.

“You’re bloody well insane is what’s happened to you.” Miranda actually took time to biotically slam a pillow. It floated in the air until is slammed into the ground and disintegrated. 

“I think it works better if you punch it.” Jacob was still laughing.

“The only reason I haven’t turned you inside out yet is, because we shared something once.” Miranda stiffened up her chin defiantly.

“I knew I would never be man enough for you, but I think you just needed someone to be better than you.” Jacob was finally finished his choking sobs of laughter.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Miranda looked ready and charged to put him through a bulkhead, but Jacob, normally a man of few words, seemed full of worth mirth and little care. She didn’t know which disturbed her more. As soon as they had taken onboard as the last two surviving members of the Lazarus cell, she felt a twinge of comfort that it had been Jacob that had survived. Everyone else had been killed during the attack.

He had never been any sort of priority in her life, but he was as trustworthy as you could get in Cerberus. The Illusive Man even tolerated what others might see as disloyalty in his lack of trust; however, he always put duty first and was annoyingly honest. Overtime, it was a good quality, to know exactly where you stood with someone, so it was refreshing. He was a competent biotic and soldier, if not overburdened with intellectualism.

Miranda’s extra benefits with him while on base, though short lived, came with an unexpected bonus, friendship, at least on his part. Miranda had never been one for friends finding them a liability in the end, but Jacob was Jacob and doggedly loyal. He had never been a lovesick puppy. He actually enjoyed her company and would drop by her office when they were back on base long past their festivities time. Making sure she took time to sleep and eat.

She might have been superhuman, but he reminded her that she was, in fact, human, and had human needs. The project would suffer if she didn’t take care of herself beyond workouts and nutrients. Sleep was also necessary.

“You’ve always been the best at everything, Miranda, but I don’t think you’ve ever met any human who was superior to you in any significant way. Shepard is a better leader in a different way. You can see it. There’s a reason her people would follow her to hell and back before. It’s why the Illusive Man took a chance and wanted nothing changed about her. He wanted her back the way she was, because no one could have defeated the Geth and Saren with a ragtag group and small ship. Hell, an army couldn’t defeat them.” He finished.

She sighed, “I know her better than she knows herself.”

“You know data. You can research and read every file you want, but it’s not the same as seeing her in action and following her into battle. Plus getting every crazy person in the world to bend to her will behind a single purpose.” He finished.

“You don’t think I know what’s at stake?” Miranda was brooding behind the last remaining pillow. She had no need for her normal game face for Jacob.

“So if you failed, humanity would have died. Don’t sell yourself short. You gave us a fighting chance. You had to save Shepard, first.” Jacob said evenly. “Even if you do have a hot date at 0800.”

“Shut it.”

“In combat she’s different than you, but no less perfect. Sure, you can lead, but you can’t bring together the crazy team that the Illusive Man wants. We’re only halfway through picking up the dossiers. Shepard appeals to everyone. I don’t think there’s a person on board who hasn’t given it a passing thought to what it would be like to have a night with her. It’s natural. It only makes sense that the only person you could truly fall for is someone superior in some way...which is a hard sell for you, and someone that isn’t groveling at your feet to sleep with you.”

“That’s the dumbest thing to come out of your mouth.” Miranda stared at him clenching and unclenching her fists.

“We were together long enough that you know I know you. The real you, whether you like it or not...and you better get those biotics under control before you punch a hole through the ship.” Miranda’s hands were glowing with biotic energy unchecked which she hadn’t lost control of since she was a teenager. Jacob watched as she physically got herself together with her mask fully in place. “You can reinstall those security protocols, but for what it’s worth…I think Shepard has it pretty bad for you as well.”

“Wais, what? That’s bloody insane is what that is. She treats me worse than any member on the crew. She’s always riding me about something, she never compliments me for anything, but she praises the damn guy for making ramen.” Miranda huffed.

“Yeah, but she spends more time with you than anyone else. She trusts you to cover her flank. She takes you on every mission. Do you know how many people would kill for that? You can’t tell me she never gives you encouragement of any kind on the battlefield.” Miranda remembered all the smirks and winks she had dismissed so readily. “She checks in with you every morning, afternoon, and evening…personally.”

“To ride my ass…” Miranda started.

“And she always brings you your favorite breakfast tea (which we don’t stock) so she picks it up at the Citidal or something, coco at lunch with fresh cinnamon that she hand grates, and coffee, black, for dinner, in way too many varieties for me to count, because she consults EDI on what you like depending on your mood.”  
Jacob finished smoothly.

“Jacob, I’m going to have to think about this a lot, and you are one hell of a creepy stalker.”

“Naw, I’m just picking up on security, since everyone debugged the place…and does constantly…The Illusive Man wants everyone watched for whatever reason. This isn’t going into a report, but I’m having to spend time in common areas now.” Jacob finished. “By the way, you would be dumb not to take a chance on that…and I wouldn’t tell the Illusive Man. I learned from the best to watch people’s habits. If you don’t care, I’m sure he assigned Chambers to bed her.”

“Chambers’ is a different kind of spy. The kind I don’t like.” Miranda said finishing off her wine in a gulp. That was something she never did. She truly enjoyed the flavors, but she found herself pouring another glass.”

“Are you saying that because she was sent to seduce to Shepard if the Commander like redhead’s better, or because she’s way too obvious.”

“Yes.” Miranda growled and punched a pillow into next week. “I don’t even know how I feel about the idea. I know she’s bi-sexual, with a much stronger tendency toward woman; however, I have no idea how to seduce Shepard. Until now, I thought she hated me.” She sunk into the couch. “I thought I hated her.”

“Really? Because you just listened intently to how I surmised how I tracked the data on her attraction to you that you missed. Maybe you even liked it” Jacob said.

“Women are complicated. I’m complicated. ” Miranda buried her face into the last living pillow on the coach.

“Shepard is fairly straightforward in combat situations, and pretty straightforward in coming by your office.”

“Does the crew know?” Miranda looked up.

“No, they are pretty sure you are going to kill each other. I think Chambers might think there is something. Hence, all the flirting in the CIC, but you are the two most intimidating people on the ship. I think most would face the Turian or whatever Krogan we’re picking up before getting in between you two.” Jacob said.

“I’ll break Chambers.” Miranda said evenly.

“I thought you didn’t even know if you liked Shepard?”

“I don’t.” Miranda retorted. “But I will not be out done by that little cretin, and I just don’t like her.”

“Not to be rude, but you have a date at 0800, and I don’t want to keep you up.”

“Seriously, you can’t expect me to go after all this. I can’t even wrap my mind around it.” Miranda just fell back on the couch.

“I don’t think you have to get worried about wrapping your mind around it…just your body.”

Miranda pointed to the door. “Get out. Get the hell out.”

“You can’t tell me the Illusive Man didn’t try to order you to seduce her, which didn’t work out. BUT, now if you might have an actual feeling for her you’re going to destroy things.” Jacob folded his arms and looked at her.

“I don’t do feelings, as you should well remember.” Miranda retorted.

“Noted.” Jacob said. “Enjoy your date.”

“I’ll kill you.” Miranda said.

“I’m betting the on the Reapers…but you could get there first. BTW: Scuttlebutt is getting around the ship from Joker about you two facing off. I don’t think it will be a private date. Might want to relocate.” And with that Jacob left.

Miranda felt exhilarated and heavier than she had ever felt.

Miranda set a wake-up call for 0500 and decided to even move to the bed. She was having a hard enough time thinking about all the positions she could put Shepard in, or even better train Shepard to put her in when her mind just rebelled.

Miranda stayed toned, but when Shepard walked through her office in a T-Shirt that was a tad too short after one of her never ending workouts, Miranda marveled at her chiseled abs, or there was this one T-shirt where the neck had been mostly cut out for some reason or another, but the delectable flesh underneath that could lead her to bite down her neck to her shoulder…

WTF time was it? “0300” EDI responded. She hadn’t realized she had asked the question out loud. I wonder if the Commander is awake. “She is.” EDI responded.

“Locate the Commander.”

“Commander Shepard is in her quarters.”

Miranda fished for a moment, “Is the Commander entertaining, anyone?”

“The Commander is unoccupied and awake at this time.” EDI finished.

Why did she ask that? Why did she care? She did monitor, but not at 3 in the morning, she received a report at 0600.

What was Miranda going to do with this information? Just show up her door at 3 and ask about ship’s business. Invent ship’s business? Grab her and kiss her, and demand to know why she felt anything toward Shepard?

This was ridiculous. If something was going to happen, and the Commander was interested surely it would have happened already.

Maybe Jacob did have a point. Shepard spent time with her and took her on missions, which for Shepard might as well have been as close as one could get to know her was on the battlefield.

Miranda had done a ton of research of every type on her. In the romance dept Shepard wasn’t shy. She’s slept with anyone and everyone she’d ever desired. Never been in a relationship, though she had bonded with the Asari, it hadn’t made it past death’s door and Shepard had never contacted Liara or visa versa since waking up.

Gawd, maybe she just needed to see the Commander and look her in the eye…or even easier EDI,the ship’s AI, which typically did her snooping should be able to answer the question, “EDI, has Commander Shepard ever been sexually aroused in my presence.”

“As I have learned to deal with humans under the Commander’s guidance, she would not have me answer that question anymore than if she asked that question about you.”

“EDI, answer the question.” Miranda was annoyed.

“No. She has forbidden under her directive should you or any crew member ask. You must ask her, though the same is true of her.” EDI stated simply.

Miranda was stewing on the AI’s refusal to answer the question.

What if she had been misreading Shepard? That damn lopsided smile seemed to haunt her, and she could not get her out of her out of her mind.

Dammit she would settle this once and for all. “Where is the Commander, Right Now!”

The Cargo Bay beneath engineering, though I do not think she wishes to be disturbed.

Miranda leapt up half-cocked. She didn’t care if she was banging the Yeomen or not, whatever was going on at 4 AM. Miranda was the second in command, the XO FFS, she should know. She took the elevator down, the door to engineering opened and she heard music coming from the lowest deck. Miranda couldn’t identify the piece off hand, but it was something from the Romantic period on Earth. Miranda skirted down the stairs but stayed out of view. The music grew louder, and what she saw, was the last thing she expected to see.

Shepard doing ballet and doing it well. Miranda found it quite mesmerizing. It started out with her doing some simple bar work, but every position was perfect. Then she finally went into part of a choreographed piece she had obviously been working on. When she was done, she grabbed a small towel and tossed it around her neck and began to take off her well-worn in ballet slippers.

Miranda decided to make her presence known, and at least let her know she had been there for the end of the performance. She clapped and met the Commander who gave her the same lop-sided smile she gave when she was going to rush in and kill everything with a long barrel shotgun instead of a better choice of weapon…just because she could.

“You’re up late or early, Miranda. Couldn’t sleep either?” Shepard smiled sheepishly.

“Ballet never showed up in any files anywhere. I don’t know what to say. You were excellent, by the way.”

“Thanks, key to balance, breath control, and good for tone. I’ve done it since I was a young. My father thought it was key to sports, and good footwork for a soldier. I practice when I have something big coming up and I want to be on my game. It’s the one thing I have for me. I prefer to keep it off the record, if you don’t mind. Everyone knows everything about me. This is the one thing that is mine. Even EDI is programmed to keep her mouth shut.” She had finished putting away her ballet shoes and replacing them for sneakers.

“So you thought you would squeeze in a four AM recital?” Miranda asked.

“Something like that.” “What’s the big thing you’re prepping for this time?” Miranda asked as innocently as she could.The real question is what brings you down for my impromptu performance?” Shepard actually winked at her this time.

Miranda for the first time in her life had no reply. She just stood there mute rooted to her spot. Finally, she mumbled something about ballet being perfect for any warrior. She was soon back in her N7 t-shirt and sweatpants.

“Something on your mind, Lawson?” There she was, all her gear in a bag, way too close into Miranda’s space. The tangy smell of her acidic hard-earned sweat. Her muscles chiseled underneath that thin sheen of hot moisture covering her body, already starting to cool. Shepard was close enough to touch without effort. 

Miranda felt like she was more watching her hand than controlling it as it slowly moved out and seemingly under its own power and rested itself on Shepard’s shoulder. Then feeling the hard muscle, it caressed its way down her arm. Shepard neither encouraged nor did she move away. She merely let her XO explore; and explore she did.

Miranda closed the distance between the two of them, stepping into Shepard. Neither spoke a word. Miranda knew every inch of her body, but that was when she was rebuilding her and bringing her back to life. She had been nothing more than a mere impossible project. Now, she was a living breathing swath of destruction to her enemies, and someone who could broker peace even as brash and cutthroat as she was…she was pragmatic to say the least.

Miranda had spent her life as the smartest person in the room, IQ wise. Shepard was cagey, but Shepard could do things Miranda could only dream of doing.

Star crush?

She didn’t think so.

Miranda had no idea, but when their bodies became close together Miranda was drunk on arousal. Her underwear already soaked; she finally gave into the first minor fantasy. Nibbling on the Commander’s neck. Shepard gave no outward acknowledgement, but the Commander’s arm was the give away filled with goosebumps and she gave an involuntary low moan. Shepard hadn’t taken a lover since all of the insanity of being alive again had started.

The neglect was intentional to a degree. How did she know what would happen after what Cerberus had done to her, she had always been a very sexual person prior to…but now…it had just been mission to mission.

She assumed one of Miranda’s duties had been to seduce, if not her then Chambers to make her loyal to Cerberus, but at this moment, she really didn’t care.

This was the first time Lawson had really shown any interest, no matter how many times she tried to talk to her, and it had been so long. She was tempted to take her right there on the Cargo deck, but something was holding her back, and she didn’t know what it was.

Shepard pulled Miranda away from her neck, which was hard as fuck, so she could look her in the eye for just a moment. She needed to get a read on her.

Lawson seemed surprised to have any response from Shepard. Shepard looked for anything of meaning in those ice blue eyes. There was definitely something there. Many things mingled in there: lust, fear, confusion, even emotion. It was more than enough for Shepard to know the difference between a fuck and something much more dangerous. She should have walked off right then, but there was something so compelling…a loneliness.

At first Shepard merely brushed her lips against her XO’s and returned the favoring nibbling on the neck. She shifted her against a bulkhead running her hand up her thigh. Then she realized Miranda was truly about to come undone. Miranda was completely and hopelessly out of her element.

It wasn’t that she had just given Shepard trust enough literally out of nowhere, but she also needed it, just as Shepard had been needing something more than this purpose.

Shepard core was hot and demanding but could wait. She pulled back from Miranda long enough from their brief encounter to say, “Trust me.” Then she kissed Miranda so deeply and pushed her up against the bulkhead Miranda thought she might pass out. Shepard was strong enough to hold her up against the wall and easily found the Cerberus’s Officer’s heated core between her legs.

The thin material, and a great deal of experience, allowed Shepard to find approximately where her clit would be immediately. Miranda broke the kiss to stifle a scream. This was not the situation she had imagined when she had started down the stairs, if she had imagined one, but whatever the hell it was, she didn’t want it to stop.

“Please…” Miranda rasped.

Shepard returned to her neck and spent most of her energy holding her up against the wall and teasing her clit with a fevered pitch. She knew the pattern she was hitting would keep hitting the mound of nerves that were growing slightly more rigid as she worked them against the thin fabric of Miranda’s cat suit.

Miranda grabbed two fistfuls of Shepard’s hair. She could easily disrobe, but she didn’t want any moment to stop. Having Shepard pressed up against her. Feeling her body heat. The smell of her sweat mixed with the musky smell of her own sex and Jane’s…coming in her pants hadn’t been on her agenda, but neither had been taken her against the wall. She could feel herself thrusting slightly to match Shepard’s rhythm. It was subtle, but felt amazing, Miranda had lost awareness of where she was and how vulnerable she truly was. Each stroke bringing her closer…

Miranda had never found herself this aroused with her male lovers. Was it women? Or was it Shepard?

Shepard could feel how hot Miranda was and even a touch of dampness was ebbing its way through her suit, which she would have thought was impossible, but I she didn’t think the suit was designed for this particular purpose. She could feel how close Miranda was…

“Come for me.” Shepard managed to choke out in a deep throaty voice into her ear.

It was the last thing Miranda needed to send her over the edge. Miranda wasn’t typically a vocal person, but the permission seemed to give her complete freedom vocalize her the rush of her climax, which pounded in waves.

Shepard was patient and let her enjoy each one, until she could only feel Lawson’s pulse with her finger. She had long ago quit stroking her, and just let her ride it out to the final moments.

Here is where things would go incredibly right or incredibly wrong from Shepard’s POV.

Operative Lawson had slid down the wall and was now not exactly holding Shepard, but her body was against her, and she wasn’t moving away. The look in her eyes held a spark of something mixed with…was it shame?

Shepard moved in and kissed her deeply to see if the expression would change. “I’ve wanted to do that for the longest time.” Her eyes were met with confusion.

Miranda shook her head. “Pin me against the wall and bend me to your will?”

It was Shepard’s moment to look confused. “Believe that you actually wanted me, the way I wanted you. Even if it was just for a moment.” Shepard went in to kiss her.

Lawson had a better view of the Cargo Bay, while Shepard could only look at Lawson. She was looking expectantly at Lawson for an answer or a reaction.

Lawson suddenly threw Shepard backward into the middle of the Cargo Bay. Shepard looked confused, but Lawson launched herself at her. Shepard easily took her down, but Lawson wasn’t using biotics.

Lawson coughed and yelped, “The point was to use Ninjutsu, not your combat training, Commander.”

And the reason behind the sudden change became instantly obvious, as a few crew members stumbled in led by Joker. “Hell, I came early to get the good seats, no idea you guys were going to start so early. I could hear the screaming decks away.”

“Turns out EDI is a better instructor at some things than at others.” Shepard said smoothly. “We heard about your little betting pool. I don’t need an audience. Try again, Joker. Plus, I think Lawson needs to be checked out by Chakwas, anyway.”

“Only because that was an illegal move.” Lawson countered.

There was the lopsided Shepard smile. “C’mon. I’ve got advance medigel in my cabin. It’ll patch you up for tonight. We don’t have to wake up the good doctor.”

“I do expect a fair rematch.” Lawson said as Shepard offered up her hand.

“Joker…no more betting pools based on me.” Shepard said. “I don’t like working out at o dark thirty to avoid being bread and circuses.”

Joker was grumbling, he clearly had something planned.

Shepard and Lawson left the cargo bay.

They said nothing as they walked up the stairs to the elevator.

“Good catch, Lawson. Quick thinking.” Shepard smiled. “Illegal maneuver. I’ll have to remember that one. Lucky, we didn’t strip down, I know I love the smell of fresh sex, but it would have been a dead giveaway.” She chuckled.

“I should go to my cabin.” Lawson said quietly, she pushed the control at the last second and the elevator came to a stop. She didn’t meet the Commander’s eyes the entire time. Shepard caught her by the arm and swung her around. Lawson little resistance, and Shepard let go immediately.

“If you want anyone to buy that display…I think you should follow me up for some medigel.” Punching the button up to the first level. Miranda followed, reluctantly. Somehow going to Shepard’s cabin was making a choice. Making her vulnerable. She didn’t want to be vulnerable.

After the door closed behind her to the Captain’s Quarters, she didn’t know what to expect, but Shepard didn’t pounce on her.

“That was quick thinking down there. We should have sealed the doors, though that might have been a giveaway. I guess, I felt if anything broke that moment, nothing would happen. I had hoped for so long that you would come or show an interest that wasn’t involved with an assignment. It was foolish. Though that must have been one hell of a ninjutsu lock I got you in for that scream, eh?” Shepard had more of a wolfish smile about that.

Miranda nearly turned on heel to leave, but Shepard caught her by the arm, again.

“It was a joke. Stay. Just for a minute.” Shepard softened.

“Another victory for Shepard. You have the notch in your belt. What else do you need? Chambers will suffice.” Lawson knew she sounded petty, hurt and judgmental.

“Is that what you think of me?”

“Statistically it would be on par.”

“That was who I was before I died. I’m not exactly the same. Listen. If you don’t want to be here, don’t. You can leave, I won’t order you to stay or anything plus the Illusive Man would prefer it if you could fake all this, but clearly you can’t.”

Lawson shifted uncomfortably, “I’ve never been with a woman. If it was a mission, I would know how to handle it. It was discussed, but you didn’t seem interested, so the subject was dropped. I never thought I would be in the situation for real, or that I might…like it.”

“Is that the shame? Being perfect, you couldn’t be in a gay relationship?” Shepard asked as if this was the most normal follow up question to how do you like your eggs.

“What shame? And what relationship?” Miranda almost screamed.

“When I pulled back and looked into your eyes, I saw shame, lust, emotion, many things in conflict. To be fair to you, I usually run if I see anything more than lust. It’s new territory for me. So, if you walk out that door, I can’t say I blame you, though I really wouldn’t mind a good proper fuck. I could at least give you that on a reign check.”

“I don’t know what I’m feeling.” Miranda squared her shoulders. “It’s stupid really. It should be just good a good fuck. I’m not much of the feeling sort.” Mask was in place. Miranda started to speak, stopped, started again, then finally said, “I have no idea what I’m doing. I’ve never been with a woman before. I don’t know how I feel about it. The Illusive Man did ask me to seduce you, but you weren’t interested so I never looked into it. Now, this is personal, and I don’t want him to find out. I mean if we do something more. If there’s anything more.”

“You’re afraid he would order you to do something.” Shepard said.

“Yes. He could.” Miranda said simply. It’s not just my life he protects. “Plus, I’m not sure that I would be any good in bed with a woman. I have no experience.”  
Shepard chuckled “I seriously doubt that, you have the same equipment. Extrapolate. Unless you have no interest.” Jane Shepard took off her T-Shirt and sweatpants and turned on the shower. “You made quite the mess of me earlier. I’d like to clean up. I’d like you to still be here when I get out.”

She moved toward Lawson. “So, if we keep this strictly physical, he would have little influence.”

Miranda thought about it for a moment, “Possibly.” 

“If this is all there is going to be…can I have a parting gift?” Shepard moved in melding her body to Miranda’s and kissing her lightly on the lips teasing them apart. Miranda was slow to respond, but when she did, Shepard put all the passion she had into the kiss. Shepard didn’t know if it was a goodbye and thanks for everything kiss, or if this was just the beginning, but it was certainly overwhelming and more than she expected.

“It’s your choice, Miranda. I don’t know if I’m designed for more than a one-night stand. I’ve never really tried, but I think I owe you a proper fuck at the very least.” Shepard laughed.Miranda stiffened, “Something funny?”

“No, I think this is the only time in my life I’ve ever said so much or been on this end of the conversation. I’m usually kicking people out the door. Pragmatically, it’s a suicide mission where we eventually have to go through the Omega 4 Rely. We could enjoy ourselves until then. Sure, we can play, what if…but good sex is a good way to blow off steam…you don’t have to decide everything tonight.”Shepard always the marine finished stripping down, but did leave the shower door open. Lawson didn’t mind the show. Shepard chiseled like a god. She wouldn’t mind feeling those abs, again, sans clothes. Shepard wasted no time getting into better shape than anything Lawson could imagine. All those missions in all that armor, plus all those workouts. You would never know what you were missing beneath all that armor.Lawson also noticed that the Commander must have been exceedingly wet from earlier. When she removed her panties strings of wetness clung to her, and she was close enough to smell the slightest hint of her own musky sex in the air.

A few minutes ago, Miranda wanted nothing more than to bolt for the door, but judging by the physical response she had on the commander, all she wanted to do was to touch her slick folds and give her the same pleasures she had experienced earlier.

She wanted to taste Shepard. She wondered what it would feel like to take her in her mouth. She had no experience at it, but she could extrapolate from other lovers and what she liked. Plus, she wanted to feel the mighty Commander tremble and cry out her name.

Just the thought was making her soaking wet.

Shepard had not POV from where her shower was. So Miranda disrobed and arranged herself in the Commander’s bed.Miranda supposed she would find out first hand some of the answers to her questions about what the great Commander Shepard prefered in bed. It was a hole in her scientific curiosity. She would file it under a need to complete her studies.At least that was the lie she would live with for the moment.When the shower stopped and Shepard exited wearing only a towel around her waist, nothing in her brain had any thoughts that were scientific.Shepard had toweled off everything but forgotten her robe. Seeing no one standing anywhere at a glance and not having the least bit of hope she had tucked the towel around her waist.She was bone tired and emotionally drained. She had walked halfway to the bed before she noticed it was occupied. She stopped short. Drinking in the sight of Miranda actually being there.She was suddenly revitalized; she decided not to think or analyze anything. Miranda was there, so she would just go with instinct alone. Pleasure was one thing she was good at, but there was a dangerous feeling she squashed just as she ignored any emotion in Miranda’s eyes that she knew Miranda was unaware she was giving off.This had to be just for fun. So make it the time of her life.

****


	2. Seconds?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miranda and FemShep are two very broken people trying to figure out if they can find solice in anything much less each other. 
> 
> Angst/humor/action/adventure/femslash
> 
> I do love my angst and humor.

The mission was supposed to be a simple one. Pick up the convict, Jack, who was in cryo, and back to the ship. They had already done one mission that day and Miranda, though tailor made to be genetically perfect and one hell of a biotic, wasn’t designed to take this much action, either on the battlefield or in bed. 

Shepard was relentless, though the latter she surely had no complaints about. 

Had it just been last night that had been their first sleepless night? Miranda could remember every single touch. Underneath all that armor was a flesh and blood woman who knew how to give and receive pleasure. 

Shepard was taking out the heavy mechs with that damned shotgun, again. The rate of fire was slow, though she had great distance on the thing and amazing power, but it caused Miranda to watch every cool down on her biotics as her warp ripped the mech. She continued to fire with her favorite pistol sidearm.

On some level, she supposed she was as bad as Sheppard. There were better weapons, like a submachine gun, but this was tried and true, and the aim was perfect and she had it modded within an inch of its life. Garrus would use a sniper on anything, leaving her the only biotic on this mission. Not every Biotic could pull or lift, all specialized. She was working on slam, but hadn’t finished developing it yet for the battlefield.

There was Shepard with that cheeky half grin, rushing forward, before mortals had a chance to catch their breath. Then again, she never gave the enemy any chance to advance, but between turrets, heavy mechs, plus reinforced shields that had to be taken out individually and the damn goon guards plus the warden was still somewhere souped on whatever the hell crack he was on...this breakneck speed was probably what made Shepard...well...Shepard...and fucking impossible to kill...but it was a razor’s edge of staying alive as well.

There was no margin for error.

Shepard turned out to be just as relentless in bed.

***

Miranda had thought to tease the Commander, waiting for her when she came out of the shower...had it been just in the wee hours of this morning?

Gawd, everything was a bloody damned blur.

After Shepard came out of the shower and sized her up in the bed, Miranda thought she would flip the tables on her a bit. 

Being a biotic could be handy, but before her carefully timed plan all of 5 minutes old to gain a foothold on the Commander could play out, Shepard had the towel off stripped the sheets covering Miranda, and tied her wrists loosely with together with them tying them to the bed frame in one fail swoop. 

The Cerberus Officer doubted it was practiced; like everything with Shepard it was fly by your pants improvisation. Lawson could have broken free, and she was not going to put up with this childish nonsense, until she felt the weight of Commander on top of her.

Not her full weight, of course...the heat of her body...she was expertly trailing kisses down her jaw, neck, collarbone, teasing her rubbing her nipple with one palm of her hand while her leg conveniently found it’s way between hers, instantly trying to establish a rhythm with Miranda’s body...which was working, much to her chagrin.

She could feel herself getting slick, but at least there was more than one musky scent mixing with her own. Regardless of anything, Shepard was definitely getting off on this just as fast as she was.

Shepard expertly tasted a nipple within an inch of Miranda's life as she headed south. Okay, this was a bit sensory overload for her.

Did she just have no self control? 

Why did she care?

Women were supposed to be multi-orgasmic for a reason; Shepard was super human at everything else. Why not being a good fuck?

The idea of the Commander going down on her and tasting her was just about enough to make Miranda come. Shepard was pushing the tempo because she conquered everything at breakneck speed: whether it be the battlefield or the bedroom. Shepard had no failsafe, she just went full throttle. Miranda thought she would have to temper that at some point...

Miranda was going to think about that...later...in a minute or something...the minute Shepard quit teasing her and her tongue lapped across Lawson’s clit for the first time…

Shepard thought she might have broken Lawson who stopped everything, ripped the sheets, and technically might have broken the headboard

She was worried because Miranda was so still and put everything on pause without doing or saying anything.

Shepard took time to evaluate, she wasn’t worried about the sheets. Sheets are cheap, and the headboard was crap anyway.

And that was without biotics, so it really didn’t count.

It was intense.

While Shepard was waiting though, she really enjoyed the view. Miranda was definitively feminine. She was really looking forward to continuing what she was doing, but Miranda had other plans.

It took some gruff maneuvering on Miranda’s part to get Shepard to stop what she was doing, and head back a little more north of the equator.

The Commander seemed confused. Mostly because there was no way Miranda was finished, which was true, but Miranda wanted a bit more shared experience. She didn't want things one sided so she felt indebted.

The Commander landed in a rather sloppy kiss with aplomb being dragged up. Miranda tasted herself on Shepard’s lips, and she couldn’t say she minded it. Shepard was being struck in another direction, because the Chestnut dark haired beauty with the piercing blue eyes had cut short what Shepard most fond of and successful at in bed, fucking the hell out of women.

No one had ever stopped her in the middle of anything.

Ever.

Sure some tried or felt obligated to return the favor, but pretty much everyone was selfish in the end. Miranda, of all people, should have followed suit. 

Miranda had been fantasizing about touching Shepard. Wanting to feel if she could make the Commander come, just as willingly and easily, as Shepard made her in the Cargo Hold.

It was partial luck, but also a very educated guess, when Miranda found Shepard finally in arms reach of a good slick stroking herself.

If it were a battle, it was one worth losing, and Shepard was lost from the first few moments. She literally hadn’t had sex in this lifetime. Shepard was a hot wet mess from from fucking Miranda, but a few gentle touches from Miranda and Shepard was ready to go at any moment from inattention and the novelty of not being with some marine in it for a quick fuck.

Shepard was more than happy to play mutual admiration society with Miranda. 

Miranda stopped short of letting her off easy, but decided Shepard needed to see what it felt like to wait and enjoy the anticipation. The former Spectre gave way easily to Miranda’s demands as Miranda shoved her on her back. Shepard was the bloody “perfect human specimen” and she was going to enjoy touching and tasting that slightly salty flesh from sweat.

Shepard was in no way bulky, but she was chiseled and lithe. Miranda enjoyed drinking her in and tracing down her body with her finger tips and drawing out different sounds of pleasure from the former Alliance Officer as though she was playing a delicate instrument. 

When Miranda had teased everything else, she then gently nudged Shepard’s thighs apart. Miranda was just slipping down for her first taste when Shepard seemed to find her voice...though it was awkward…

“Miranda, you don’t have to…” Shepard started.

“I know...but this is as much for me as it is for you, I assure you, Commander. Unless you don’t want me to.” Miranda said. Deliberately letting her hot breath tickle Shepard’s core.

“Oh my gods, just fuck me.” Shepard moaned.

“Your lips to my ear.” MIranda smiled. She had no idea how sensitive Shepard would be, but moved in quickly, knowing Shepard wouldn’t expect it (which was fun since Shepard anticipated everything) and gently pulled back the hood exposing Shepard’s clit directly. Miranda took it in her mouth quickly, but very gently and began to massage it with her tongue.

The sound that erupted from the Commander was a low animalistic one. It eventually found rhythm with what Miranda was doing. 

Miranda had no idea what Shepard’s sexual preferences were, but she was extremely wet, so she sought purchase with a single finger...teasing...Shepard was amazingly slick...and when she heard a sound that sounded like approval she moved inside her.

Shepard was quite tight. The walls though slick clamped around her finger. She pushed forward curling in the tip of her finger once she was all the way inside. Judging by the reaction, Shepard probably liked things simple. Continuing to lap in the same stroking beat tongue on clit, she added stroking inside her as her walls gripped to her, but Shepard grabbed her wrist.

Probably a bit too much for a woman just back from the dead who hadn’t had sex in this lifetime. Maybe just stick with clitoral the first time was the message.

Less work for Miranda, though she didn’t mind it. Pleasuring her CO turned out to be an incredible turn on and very satisfying. Shepard had seemed on the verge of coming since she began. What would it take to send her over the edge?

When she looked up Shepard who was watching her, which was quite a nice turn on, but for a moment through, the scars on her face, she seemed like she needed something more…

There was that hand, again. Reaching out of it’s own accord. Stroking Shepard’s cheek. As if to say it’s okay, you can trust me, too. Then it’s Shepard’s turn to cry out and release all the shackles to the physical, emotional, and psychological pain filled worlds as they exploded into color and broke apart for an undisclosed amount of time that is both short and seemingly to lasted forever.

In that release is a brokered moment of trust because if you’re a certain type of self reliant woman, you swear to yourself will never be that vulnerable with another human being, and you’re not sure why you did it to begin with...but for a moment there is no former Alliance officer and no Cerberus Operative, just two women filled with passion, lust, fear, loneliness reaching out in darkness and finding something more than just a good fuck...which is so much more dangerous…

Both try not to think about it too much as they trade and explore multiple orgasms just enjoying each other's bodies, touch and warmth. There’s very little down time, but the moments of afterglow they mutually give in to says volumes.

Shepard tries not to think about it too much, by the time she gets thru fucking Miranda they've both lost track of time and it’s just past 0800 and they are both late to start their day and both in need of a good shower. They start to shower together, and realize that will make them much, much later...so Shepard reluctantly bows out and just enjoys the view. Miranda has turned out to be a quick study, and can make Shepard come hard and fast through touch, talk, and just the right amount of command performance.   
  
It's been years and she's been dead, but she has little stamina for a few of Lawson's tricks, not that she minds. What's the fun in having a high tolerance? You can just go again and again. Though in another life, she would have been ashamed at her lack of control, this is new her. Plus some sessions take hours and aren't rushed. Miranda is lucking into finding the same tricks that work on Shepard, because they also work on Miranda.   
  
Watching Miranda shower isn't something that Shepard thinks she could get tired of anytime soon. Miranda knows they are late, but she takes a few extra seconds here and there to accentuate her form as she showers. As she finishes a quick hair rinse, mostly so she doens't reek of sex, Sheaprd is glad she chose to shower second.  
  
One, she got to enjoy the show, two, she is now desperately in need of a cold shower.  
  
Miranda drapes a towel around her form. "Commander, I will see you later. If you don't mind, I'll borrow the Cerberus uniform, I know you never wear the one that was assigned to you. Cereberus isn't known for it's sizing, it should fit me."  
  
"You can borrow whatever you want." Shepard smiled her lop-sided smile and shirked off her robe. "Hey, Lawson." Miranda stopped as she passed by her, "I don't know what anything means...but I know...I enjoyed last night...this morning...and as much of the shower as time permitted...the one night thing..."  
  
"I understand, Commander. You don't do re peat performances." Miranda said, evenly, pushing past her.  
  
"No, listen...I don't want that...I...if you want...I'd like more...even though I don't know what that is...I like you here..."  
  
"I don't do emotions, Commander." Miranda said evenly.  
  
"To be honest, I've never had much use for them. But I know I like being around you. I like you in my space. True, I like fucking you, I won't deny it, though I never have repeated performances, I think I'd like to...and maybe get to know you. I'm not saying get married. Fuck, I don't even know how to date. Let's just do something else again. I could tell you, you're smart and sexy...but you get that a lot...the thing is...what makes you smart and sexy isn't what you think it is"  
  
"What the bloody hell is that supposed to mean?" Miranda stiffened.  
  
Shepard was naked, but didn't care. She siddled up to Miranda anyway. When you came down to the cargo bay, with no plan and just let me trusted me enough to let me take you right there. It's the same with Lazerous, you just did the impossible, because you could. You follow me into battle, knowing that any stray bullet could end either of us, but you trust now only in you, but in me. It's that instinct, that trust in yourself and in me in that moment in the here and now...that is what makes this work. Thinking will kill us. But if you just trust, whether it's right or wrong, it's fine.  
  
There Shepard was with her Sheaprdness. I hope we can continue this...if not, I want you to remember me...at least for a little while...Sheaprd took Miranda by the jaw and kissed her with one hand, and took her other hand and did something Miranda did not anticipate. Shepard took her hand, and guided it against her slick folds excited from watching her shower. Certainly, Shepard was wet, and guiding her to rub her fingers across her slick clit and guiding Miranda to go inside her for just one moment...before guiding her back out.  
  
Miranda watched her stiffen, but then relax."What was that about?"  
  
"Trust," Shepard paused regaining control over her body, "I never usually let anyone go inside me, so for me that's a trust issue though not an unpleasant one with you. Second, I wanted something that you would have to choose whether or not remove. It's subtle, but my scent will be on you all day.You can think of me if you wish. It may seem odd, and you could go immediately wash it off..or not. It's your choice. You do something to me Lawson. I don't want to get married, hell I don't think we'll survive this mission, not all of us...we have something carnal...and something just outside of the edge of that...it's scary...but I want to explore it...I want to feel something other than walking around dead mission to mission."  
  
"Shepard..."  
  
"You have every right to tell me to fuck off."  
  
"You can bloody well, fuck off, because I've always wanted to say that; however, I don't know what I'm doing, either. I'm ot saying yes, but I'm not saying no. I don't no. Now go take your bloody shower before everyone wonder's what we are." Operative Lawson finished.  
  
Shepard dutifully got in the shower, Miranda quickly grabbed a Cereberus uniform, and came back into view of Shepard's shower. She so much enjoyed the view. It seemed the only place Shepard let go over her tension. Miranda knew Sheaprd would be out of her shower soon and didn't want to be caught. When she went to scratch her nose she caught Shepard's scent. Miranda found it meserazing. Had the thought about it and not been in a rush, she surely would have washed her hands, but now...the intoxicating aroma would stay with her for the day if she allowed it.  
  
No one would know.  
  
Shepard was turning off the shower; she bolted for the door.  
  
Shepard, saw the tail end of Miranda's dash for the cabin exit and perhaps a moment of distraction. Shepard was in way over her head, but Miranda was too.

***

The technical skill of fucking is probably why there were no complaints in the one night stand department of Shepard’s long standing past. Miranda knew of Liara, and perhaps Ashley Williams in the recent past though it was not confirmed, but there were never complaints in her file.

Miranda would say, she was probably very adaptable to any situation, honest about it upfront, and definitely worth your time and wait.

Awesome all around fuck, if that’s what it was, but Miranda knew they left things open ended for a reason. Why not have a fuck buddy? It’s a damned suicide mission when she thought about it.

The Commander had clearly not thought she would have taken her up on her offer to stay.

“I always felt this bed was too big for one.” Shepard muttered as she looked right into Miranda’s soul. She could bewitch a woman. Those green eyes and red hair fixed on her seemed to stop Miranda’s thoughts on anything but that moment.

“I don’t take up that much room.” Miranda smiled back. Her words were more or less on autopilot.

Shepard wondered what it would take to bring her into the here and now.

Fresh from the shower she lost the towel, which wasn’t hiding anything Miranda hadn’t seen before in the lab. That being said, Commander Shepard, was a compact figure that you could drink in and lose yourself, or Miranda was at the moment. 

“You just opened my present for me.” Miranda said as the ex-Spectre stood before her. The towel once freed had been flung aside.

“Sorry, I don’t come with a bow, occasionally, if you're lucky, a collar.” Shepard smiled that same lop-sided smile. Miranda then realized it was a smile she never shared or directed to anyone to the rest of the crew and it just made her melt a little.

***

Garrus had fallen with the last of the shields and had to be revived with medigel to take on the warden. Even Shepard decided to switch guns and take him out with an assault rifle, tho she always stuck to head shots.

Then they had the pleasure of meeting, Jack.

After killing every guard on the bloody station, Jack still had the audacity to give them guff and name Miranda the Cerberus Cheerleader.

Shepard took it in stride. I’m the only way out of this place. So, if you want out you’ll come with us.

Miranda wasn’t exactly listening, she was sort of enamored with Shepard.

Jack wanted Cerberus files, and Shepard lied to get her to go...it was a good play. They could deal with her on the Normandy, or blow her out of the airlock as far as Miranda was concerned. She was a hell of a biotic, but a complete psychopath.

She took out 3 heavy mechs straight out of cryo...maybe her powers were pent up...it should have been impossible...no human or even asari could do that...but she was unstable.

***

Jack cajoled on the ship and wanted to be in the depths of the Normandy...it seemed proper she would sink to the bowels of anything as she huffed off. What was the Illusive Man thinking? She knew what he was thinking. He was getting the most powerful team together...even if they were crazy and betting Shepard could contain them or use them.

Risky.

After Jack stormed out without the Cerberus records that Shepard promised she would produce soon and Jack was slinging insults at everyone...but not biotics...Shepard turned to Miranda when it was just the two of them…

“Are you alright”? Shepard asked.

Whether it was in reference to Jack or just sheer mileage from back to back missions with no sleep, she had no idea. “Of course, commander.” She responded without thinking.

Shepard paused almost letting it go and walking out of the briefing room. “EDI, turn off any listening devices and turn yourself off in this room and seal the doors.” Shepard paused just shy of the door.

EDI, “logging out you, Commander”, the AI stated.

There was Shepard, stepping into her space, again. It wasn’t an unwelcome experience. It just didn’t feel like the great Commander Shepard this time. It felt like the woman she shared a bed with not too long ago. “Are you sure you’re okay. It’s been a long day...a hard day.”

Miranda watched as that hand that betrayed her shot out. Sneaking out of its own again. Touching Shepard, but luckily just resting on her shoulder this time. She wanted to just cuddle up in an embrace and let the day melt away, but she stood there firmly.

“No, really, I’m fine...just tired.”

“I know a good place for you to rest.” Shepard offered her a weak smile and nodded up towards her cabin. She was obviously tired as well.

“I don't think we’ll get any rest in your quarters.”

“We could, just maybe not as much as we should.” Shepard countered now just chuckling.

“No, we both need rest. If you can behave yourself, you can come into my cabin for ONE drink. ONE.” Miranda said, firmly.

“Sounds fair. Is this some sort of truce?” Shepard was definitely trying to play it cool and was enigmatic and impossible for her to read, which she found infuriating for some reason. She could always read people.

“You said you had never done more than a one night stand.” Miranda offered. She was fishing and she knew it.

“Well, we haven’t slept, yet. Maybe it's the same night.” Shepard shrugged.

“Bloody hell, Shepard. Don’t make me uninvite you.” MIranda rolled her eyes exasperated. Damn, Shepard was good at playing her cards close to her vest.

“I won’t.” Shepard said simply, but moved in closer, and Miranda let her. “So your place, eh?” Then she moved in to whisper in Miranda’s ear. “I can behave myself if that’s what you truly want.”

The smell of Shepards dried sweat and what teased underneath that armor was intoxicating enough to have an effect on Miranda. At least her hand shot out in her defense for once putting Shepard at arms length.

“ONE! DRINK!”

“One drink.” Shepard smiled. 

Though she immediately missed Shepard’s warm body, and the heat radiating from it. The butterflies in her stomach and the heat from her core as her body betrayed her attraction. She wanted nothing more than for Shepard to take her right there on the conference table...and wondered if Shepard knew that from her mixed signals.

Shepard pulled back to obey the guidelines Miranda had set, but just as she started to say, “EDI…”

Miranda moved in and kissed her...muffling whatever she was going to say next.

Lawson knew she was being confusing. She knew what she wanted didn’t match what she did. Judging by the Ex-Spectres hungry response to her kiss and how easily she melded into her body, Shepard’s interest hadn’t been satisfied...it had been intensified.

There was no way to touch her through that bloody armor, though the same was not true of Miranda’s cat suit, but she quickly eschewed The Commanders wandering hands, though not quickly enough to have Miranda's scent on one of them she was certain. 

She could easily make her come and they both knew it.

Shepard was maddening. Too maddening. So Miranda did what she swore she would never do to another human being. She used her biotics to flip Shepard over on the conference table and straddle her pinning her down. She might not be able to adequately crack the armor without her assistance without causing harm to something, but she could at least frustrate the woman a little.

Teasing a trail of kisses down the Commanders neck...

“My cabin one hour, casual clothing. Understood, Commander?”

“I think I can accommodate that. How casual? Should I take a cold shower first?”

“I don’t think that’s necessary, You’ll probably just get dirty, again. Just wear something more accessible.”

“What’s wrong with my quarters? It’s more private. The captain's deck has its own floor.” Shepard pointed out.

“Not really. EDI monitors it for me, and I’m sure Chambers does. Mordin destroys all listening devices; however, Jacob acts as eyes and ears, though as a favor to me...he is blind to this...the crew are accustomed to you coming and going from my office. I don’t think they would notice if you didn't go on the odd occasion. This is still a Cerberus vessel. What we do can fly under the radar for a while, but we should not have a consistent pattern. If I suddenly go up to your cabin all the time...that will draw attention.”

Shepard just stopped cold and thought for a moment. “I won’t even tell you the level of creep factor you just put in perspective for me. I never really knew the full perspective of just how Cerberus vessels work until now, though I still think our mission is imperative.” Shepard was definitely pissed. “Maybe my hormones have gotten the better of me. Maybe I’ll take that cold shower after all. I need to think.” 

Before Miranda could say anything further…

“EDI release the hold on the door”, Shepard barked. 

And just like that Shepard was in command mode, shields fully in place and mask in place as she stormed out the door. 

She didn't even look at Miranda.

***

Miranda knew the behavior, because she had done it a thousand times in her life, but being on the receiving end after she invited Shepard to her cabin for a drink and likely something more...was just sort of devastating.

Just tell someone it was over and walk away. How many times had she done just what Shepard had done, mind you without the anger.

Having her feelings trounced upon was crushing.

She hated it.

After countless minutes went by she realized giant droplets had been dropping from her eyes and the back of her throat hurt. She’d suppressed emotions for so long, she didn’t even remember what it felt Iike to choke back unwilling tears as the Cerberus Cheerleader. She finally wiped away the last of them, put on her game face on for the maskless emotions that earned her the title of the Ice Queen.

How long had she been there? 

She really didn’t have a concept of time. She definitely felt emotional. This was more than just sex to her, though she didn’t know why. Losing Shepard was like losing a lifeline to her own humanity. She had never considered that Shepard had no idea the lengths the Illusive Man would go to, to see how his significant investment was progressing.

Who Shepard or Miranda was fucking would be minor data to him, but it was personal to Miranda...that was all. She wanted her private life, private. How had she misconveyed that?

Her throat clenched so painfully it was palpable. Was Shepard so cold she could dispatch her so quickly. On the battlefield she was ruthless. But this wasn’t the battlefield. She’d seen her interact with other crew members. Why would she treat her more shabbily than the damn cook? Maybe because she had feelings, too?

Now she was starting to sound like Jacob. He bloody well misread the damned situation. Well intended or not. 

Miranda had managed her way from the elevator down the long corridor to her office/bedroom/ quarters without incident. She only had to make it there without falling apart. Just let the door close behind her. That was all.

It should have been a simple enough task.

***

But when she walked in, she was not greeted by the cool comfort of coldness...Shepard sat on her couch looking stunning in the little black dress she had worn recently to Kasumi's heist. She hadn’t seen her in it, but tongues had wagged. Now she knew why.

“I’m sorry, I let myself in. I shouldn’t have left the way I did. I had no idea I was being monitored like a lab rat…”Shepard continued talking, but Miranda wasn’t listening, she was too angry.

“How dare you?” She choked back her emotions. “How dare you just let yourself into my quarters and just assume.” Miranda had a full head of steam at this point and she was almost yelling.

“You had invited me earlier...”Shepard started innocently.

“That’s no excuse for opening a locked door.” Miranda snarled at her.

“It wasn’t locked.” Shepard said simply.

Miranda paused. Had she forgotten to lock her door? Shepard was many things, but she wasn’t typically dishonest. She had been in a rush to leave for the mission, it was possible that she had locked everything down and not locked the door, though it was unlikely.

“I thought you had just left for the mess hall and would be right back. I didn't want to draw attention by standing outside your doorway.” Shepard continued.

Miranda had lost track of time. “You shouldn’t invade someone’s privacy!”

“It’s fine. I'll leave. This is probably a bad idea anyway.” Shepard got up to leave and probably walk out of Miranda’s life forever...luckily she had that hand...it shot out to grab Shepard’s arm...Shepard didn't wrest it away...which Miranda thought she would have after that display.

“Stop. This my fault. What was it you said to me? Stay, even if it's just for a moment? Have a drink. I will have a drink. I’m fucking this up. I think I want you, or this. Or something...Bloody hell, I don't know what it is. But when you’re here, and you’re too close, and invading my personal space with your Shepardness; I should hate it, but then I just want to step into it and be closer. I like the way you feel next to me. I like fucking you. It should just be a fuck, but that moment when you let go, when I let myself go, (Miranda was moving into Shepard now, who was eyeing her warily now, but wasn’t moving) and you’re vulnerable, I hate myself for it being okay to trust you. I love it when its my name on your lips. I hate that I’m having this conversation. No, It’s not love. But it's more trust than I've ever put into one human being. And...and...and I like it when you give me that stupid lop-sided grin that pisses me off so much on the battlefield right before you charge something with that damn stupid shotgun. AND it is stupid. But I like the whole stupid Shepard package. Even when you piss me off...which is too much of the time.

I need to sleep because I’m tired, but I want to have a drink first. I want to be close to you, and you look damned fine in that dress. It’s so not you, but it looks amazing, and you’re amazing in it.”

Miranda just turned away so she was facing the window.

“I’m bloody well going to stop talking now.”

Miranda heard the door open, then close. The tightening in her chest was almost overwhelming, but she had to expect it. After that damned speech she would have left, too. She sounded like a bloody maniac. “Well, fuck.” She muttered. 

She leaned forward. She didn’t know if she wanted to punch a hole in the ship, scream, or just shrink down where she was...but then she heard a shuffle behind her...it was Shepard. She hadn’t left at all…

I thought you might like to try this...I picked some up for the doctor on Omega...it turned out to be pretty good. So, I bought another bottle. I thought you might like to try a glass. I left it outside your quarters. I guess I was nervous. Bringing a gift. I stashed it right outside, but then I thought someone might steal it...after that...hell...I thought we could both use a good drink.

“Ice brandy?” Miranda took the bottle and looked at the bottle to look anywhere but at Shepard, maybe so she wouldn’t see the relief in her eyes.

“I had some with Dr. Chakwas. “She has good taste in liquor. I thought it might be nice to try something different together.”

“Pricey.” Miranda said. 

“What the hell do I have to spend my money on? I’m a dead specter with some fish in an aquarium.”

“I guess I’d love that glass.” This was probably Shepard’s best attempt at being romantic she realized. Shepard did many things, but she had never done romance. 

Miranda was still in shock that Shepard was there and hadn’t left; she was perhaps more in shock that she hadn’t heard her presence. She wasn’t known for her stealth, but there she was.

For Shepard’s part in all of it, the Commander seemed willing to play everything off. Since Shepard was the type to typically walk off, Miranda imagined she must have her reasons.

Shepard had been nervous enough to wear a dress, which meant she was in trouble long before she hit Miranda's door. Which with a little fudging, hopefully Miranda would never notice or remember that the door had been locked. Luckily, she outranked her XO so EDI would be silent, even if it was against her will, since EDI was the one who allowed her to break and enter from the beginning.

She knew the moment she stormed out that conference room she had screwed up, and she had no idea how to make up to Lawson. The only thing she knew how to do, was pretend it never happened. Maybe she would get lucky, because she knew no matter how pissed she had been, cut and running had hurt Miranda and she was too chicken shit to go back down there and apologize. 

She damned well she was still in the conference room, so if it took a damned dress she would try it. Anything to throw Miranda off her game. It wasn’t like her to lie, but Miranda had invited her to her quarters for a drink, and it was the only way she knew to make up. Plus, she was good at playing things by ear. She’d just see where things went. She wouldn’t push, hell Shepard didn't know what she wanted. She’d never really been on a date...I mean sometimes she’d show up to where a date was going to be, but she’d just end up fucking someone. Marines kind of got to the point and she wasn’t one for small talk. She liked getting her needs met and moving on.

She never planned on running into Miranda Lawson. She was beautiful, deadly, extraordinarily intelligent, and for some reason, interested in Shepard. 

It was true that Shepard always had people interested in her for a quick fuck, but then Lawson wasn’t short on suitors either. She wasn’t sure why she was different. Normally, someone like Lawson would annoy her. She was a company woman who blindly followed Cerberus, but technically she should be too intelligent for that so she had a weakness or she wasn’t that blind. Shepard was missing puzzle pieces, plus she was damned hot and it wasn’t her looks, those were mostly just designed to hide her insecurities.

Lawson was at her best when she wasn’t being a think tank soldier, when she just had to act and react. Even when she was fixing Shepard, she poured all her energy into that project for two years, you’d think she’d be a Shepard expert; however, she knew commitment to impossible projects and taking crazy risks with cutting edge science. Pulling off Lazarus even with unlimited funds was insane. This was the part of Miranda that Shepard loved. The wild unbridled raw intellect combined with the woman who truly gave no shits, not the one who second guessed herself because she allowed herself to think about everything too much.

Shepard had poured two short glasses neat of the brandy. She didn't ask Miranda what she wanted to drink, and Miranda was curious to try the beverage. Maybe she was just curious to try out Shepard.

Shepard stood a little too formally in her dress. Miranda certainly found her attractive in it. Anyone would, but Shepard wasn’t the person most comfortable in an After Five.

Shepard, I do love the dress, but I think you'd be more comfortable in something less restrictive, Commander. Miranda said, taking a sip. Damn, that was bloody good. “The doctor has good taste.”

“What did you have in mind?” Shepard asked.

“Well, as much as I would like to strip you down,” Miranda pulled herself into Shepard and crossed her arms behind her neck, careful not to spill her drink. “I could offer you a change of clothes.”

“Do you own something besides catsuits?” Shepard asked.

“You would look good in those as well. I was thinking something more comfortable and in your taste.”

“You got me an N7 hoodie and pants? That’s actually…thoughtful. Why?”

“Well, everything else you seem to own with N7 on it you seemed to have ripped up, and since you love to spray your sweat all over my reports…I can’t help but have noticed.” Miranda handed her the neatly folded items.

“You bought me a gift.” Shepard taunted.

“What, you bought me a gift.” Miranda countered.

“Sure to get you liquored up.” Shepard said. Ducking away downing her drink and moving away.

“No, if you wanted to get me liquored up, you’d pick something I already drank. Which, you have a vast working array of my beverage knowledge.” Miranda said, narrowing her eyes.

“Well, it took you long enough to notice. I only come by your office with a different one three times a day.” 

“Were you wooing, me?”

“What? No. I don’t woo.”

“Well.”

“I was just trying to get into your pants.” 

“You got into my pants.”

“I mean, again.” 

“I don’t think you’ll find that particularly challenging, Commander.”

“Think I’ll just top off my drink.” Shepard said, reaching for the bottle.

“I mean, it would be easy to simply slip you out of the lovely evening wear. Dare I ask, what was the reaction to you coming down here dressed like that?” Miranda couldn't help but tease Shepard with the question as she whispered it in her ear. The reaction was instantaneous. Shepard’s body betrayed her and she moaned as her nipples were instantly erect and there was no denying how wet she was, you could smell the sex in the room.

The former Alliance officer cleared her throat, “Given what I learned about surveillance I found it wise to change clothes after I got here.”

Miranda perked up.

“Seriously?” Miranda pulled back impressed.

Now it was Shepard’s turn to miss the immediate attention when it was removed as Miranda pulled back eyeing her pleased. “We just might get away with this for a moment or two.”

“Get away with what?” Shepard asked, downing her own drink.

With the pressure of the day ebbing, Miranda sighed. “Why don't you come to bed and let me show you.”

“Do I get to ditch the dress?” Shepard asked.

“Well, I think you’ll enjoy what I do to you either way, but I'll have more access if you ditch the dress.” Miranda smiled.

“Sounds like a plan to me.” Shepard smiled.

“One thing though Commander,” Miranda said, stopping her before she had completely unzipped the dress headed in the direction of the bed, while Miranda was happily backing up against the bed.

“Yes, XO Lawson.” Shepard grinned. It did have the lopsided nature.

“We should get some sleep. We can’t very well keep up the impossible tempo you have on missions without either of us getting any sleep.”

“Oh, I agree completely. That’s why we're on our way to the Citadel. The crew has shore leave for the next 48 hours. You’re logged off ship in 3 hours, and I’m logged off in 8 hours. I sure hope we have fun on the Citadel. Plus, I thought the crew could use a break.” 

“You bloody well planned this? You are taking time out of our mission so we can screw for 2 days?” Miranda sounded indignant. “When did you come up with this idea?”

“On the way to your quarters. I figured if it didn't work out, everyone could use shore leave, and I needed to restock your tea anyway,” Shepard smiled.

“Bloody impossible.” Miranda hit her with a pillow she grabbed from the bed and flung it at her.

“What’s that for?” Shepard responded innocently.

“Bloody brilliant. Wish I had thought of it first. EDI take care of everything.”

“Of course, Operative Lawson. Mission Mongoose is designed to make it seem like anytime the two of you are intimate you are in different parts of the ship that cannot be verified by anyone. Just as your shore leave times and departure times are staggered in such a way no other crew member will be around to see or verify your exact location.”

“You gave this a mission title and a name?” Miranda looked up at her quirking an eyebrow.

“It was the only way EDI would quit fighting me over it. This way she could incorporate it into her cyber warfare simulations somehow so it was beneficial and she could code it so the Illusive Man and no members from another cell could access it, and no one other than me, or possibly you if I was rendered inactive could access it.”

“You came up with this on the way down to my quarters?”

“Much handier than flowers, really” Shepard pro-offered. 

“There are so many things about you, I think I could like,” Miranda offered, switching places with Shepard so Shepard had her calves to the back of the bed. For a moment Shepard looked confused, until Miranda gave her a simple push and she fell back on the bed and laughed easily. 

“Maybe I should have asked for 3 days shore leave,” Shepard said.

“Don't be greedy, galaxy to save and all,”Miranda said, starting to pull off her catsuit.

“It’s not that, I was just thinking, it would be great to have an entire day to sleep after all this.” Miranda threw back and laughed deep and contentedly.

This was going to be a fun two days.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you want more.
> 
> I'm liking these character and their character development.
> 
> I started early, before we picked up most of the the Mass effect 2 peeps...and have no loyalty missions
> 
> This could be a 5 chapter and out...or 10-12 depending on interest.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's all angst then fun femslash...
> 
> I do love writing power women at their dorkiest...b/c sometimes...we just are...

Well the two days in Miranda’s bedroom was probably as good as things were going to get between them during that little R and R as far as Miranda could tell.

Perhaps it was doomed to be the pinnacle of their relationship if you could call it that, the Cerberus Officer mused over her morning tea that Shepard had sent by courier today of random crewman #36. Miranda knew everyone’s dossier by heart, but she doubted that Shepard did.

After two blissful days in bed, things had gone sideways in way she hadn’t anticipated, but she doubted Shepard could have either. 

Then their next stop had involved more dossiers and a trip to Illium, which had meant a full face meeting of Liara, Shepard’s last fling, love interest, whatever she was. 

But Liara hadn’t bothered to contact Shepard one fucking time since Miranda had brought Shepard’s corpse back to life. Sure Liara had brought Shepard’s corpse to Cerberus with the hopes that they could do the impossible and bring her back to life... so why was Liara ruining Miranda’s life now?

Miranda, took a deep breath and stared at the door for 30 seconds before letting out a long slow breath and practiced NOT punching anything.

It seemed Liara was willing to be a bit more friendly than Shepard would have expected extending an immediate long passionate kiss upon the moment they walked into her office at Illium. Great, she paid their docking fees, but she still hadn’t contacted Shepard on the extranet. She hadn’t even been their first stop. She was their third stop, after picking up two new crew members. 

Miranda had talked to Shepard about calling it a day. They had picked up Samaras trail early in the day and the battle that ensued went late in the afternoon, and a torrential battle had ensued to get the assassin, Thane that went late into the night. Plus, Miranda had gotten troubling news. She wasn’t quite sure what it meant, yet. She was going to have to run it through some serious Cerberus software, but she hoped it didn’t have anything to do with her father.

Shepard said she just wanted to be done with the whole creepy slaver vibe to the planet.

So when Shepard, Miranda, and Thane walked in after a cordial greeting from Shepard, she didn’t think Shepard expected the welcome she got…or at least she could have had the curtesy not to take Miranda. The last time Miranda saw Liara, she was selling Shepard’s body to Cerberus. It’s not like she donated it. She sold it. Just like any dark merchant. Sure, maybe she hoped her ex- would live again; however, she didn’t once contact Miranda to see how the project was going. She had Miranda’s information. Would Shepard possibly live? Would she have permanent brain damage? In fact, Cerberus signed a Non-disclosure Agreement never allowing Shepard to know how they acquired her body. Miranda could never tell her girlfriend that Liara sold it to them for top dollar. 

Girlfriend? Okay, Miranda really needed to get a grip. She never even considered herself having a boyfriend, much less a girlfriend, hell she barely considered ever having a friend…other than Jacob…and Jacob simply accepted a one way friendship.

Miranda specifically gave Liara her information, in case she wanted to check up on Shepard; however, she never did. Truthfully, Dr. Lawson felt Dr. T’Soni might be a source of information later, if some were needed, but the woman was too elusive. In reality, she was chasing down her former boyfriend, Feron’s killer, who she had taken up with right after Shepard’s death. 

Literally.

If Shepard’s body hadn’t been sucked into space, her corpse wouldn’t have even been cold. Miranda struck at the floor with her big toe, subconsciously, as if that would fix what offended. 

Ugh.

Miranda wasn’t accustomed to emotions interrupting her day. It was annoying. 

Shepard had been initially angry to learn that Liara had been the one to give Shepard’s body to Cerberus.

After they made it to the Normandy that night Miranda could hardly move. She thought she might have asked Shepard if she wanted to come in for a drink. She looked like she could use one. Shepard paused, but said it wasn’t worth the risk. They were too tired and there was no reason to be sloppy about their liaison.

Shepard and Miranda parted ways both exhausted that night. 

The next morning Shepard had them up bright and early for a puzzle piece fetch quest for Liara and then they were off to help find the damn Shadow Broker for Liara. It was a whirlwind. It was an extended mission to help Liara seek revenge against the Shadow Broker and find Liara’s “friend”. Shepard had been dead for 2 years and had to be aware of what kind of “friends” they were even if Liara and Feron “who hadn’t been lovers” according to them. Miranda could practically, eye roll at the finger quotes she could put around the fact that they hadn’t been lovers. Of course, they had. Shepard couldn’t be that dense.

As soon as the mission was over, right after Liara took over for the Shadow Broker she came aboard the Normandy…and did she ever. She was dressed to the NINES. 

She definitely had an effect on Shepard and most of the crew even the xenophobic ones. She noticed Liara brought wine for the occasion.

She was stuck reading Chambers report on the matter. Chambers considered the issue risky but having access to the Brokers information network and some things at a fraction of the cost made it worthwhile. However, she questioned whether or not the liaison with Liara was safe with Cerberus, though she seemed to think it was inactive. 

Liara had been in the Captain’s Cabin long enough to do more the reminisce, and though the Asari certainly didn’t pick Shepard as a bondmate, it didn’t stop Shepard from running back to the new Shadow Brokers ship every chance she got. Though she knew Liara was consumed with being the Shadow Broker now and offered Shepard nothing more than a lukewarm greeting. Chambers felt it could be a distraction. She needed to up her game and bed Shepard rather than have her falling for the distraction of another one-night stand, though it was not completely confirmed, she felt she could say with 90 percent certainty that Liara had bedded Shepard, though she wasn’t clear on the reason. Miranda threw the report across the room, again.  
That killed another pad as it died with an electronic whirr…and blanked out.

She had read it before.

Shepard for her part, seemed to realize Liara the once lovesick puppy, had outgrown her star crush. 

More than anything, schedules and non-stop battles had kept Miranda and Shepard apart. Unfortunately, Miranda had gotten what she wanted, usually leading the beta squad. It was the promotion she had asked for and Shepard rotated the crew out evenly; however, she barely saw her. Shepard’s implants grew angrier and more strained. Shepard was doing a great deal of mining and making improvements to the Normandy. Finding anomalies. All-important if tedious work. 

Shepard looked hollow even empty.

She looked like shit.

The Commander looked like she was losing a little muscle mass…probably from stress and not eating if Miranda had to hazard a guess.

When the Illusive Man’s call came through that they had to hit the derelict reaper immediately: Shepard put together her A team. It had been awhile since it had been Shepard, Miranda, and Garrus; however, the Commander was taking no chances.

There was a personal email flagged for Miranda waiting for her. Judging by the level of encryption…it couldn’t be good. They were far out. If she were to use her sources, it could take days. EDI could do it; in hours however, EDI had backdoors that the Illusive man could get thru (at least Miranda suspected…more than likely). She would debate it when they got back.

Miranda finally caught sight of Shepard in the flesh. Miranda had made herself scarce. Well, more like invisible.

Seeing Shepard in person as opposed to in a report, in a pic, or on a well to watched 30 sec vid of some random battle…well…

Miranda thought she would have words with her or perhaps a wry comment, but when she saw Shepard up close…

The Cerberus Agent evaluated her gaunt haunted look and suddenly Miranda really wished she could take the pain away. Shepard looked exhausted. She grimaced when she saw Miranda approach like she expected to be struck but when no attack came, she offered her a weak smile…just enough weak light to beam through her eyes and into Lawson’s icy heart. 

Things were much easier to deal with when feelings didn’t make her feel…well very much at all. At least she didn’t hurt all the damned time.

Even though the dim surge was making Miranda’s heart dance it was bittersweet; she realized it. Her brooding anger dropped off, and against her will offered a half smile back. 

“Missed you. Been keeping yourself busy?” Miranda asked…suddenly realizing that is exactly not what she meant to say at all or even imply with Liara in the picture.

Shepard actually laughed a little. “If you mean missions, yes. Anything else, I would think you of all people would know the answer is a big fat, no. Bored out of my skull. There’s only so many times you can mine a planet or clean and calibrate a gun.”

“I would disagree.” Garrus chimed in happily.

“Of course you would, Garrus. You can clean and calibrate until the end of time.” Shepard hit him in the shoulder.

“Quite possibly, and it would be a great end of days.” Garrus smiled and loaded up his sniper happily.

“We have very different priorities, my friend.” Shepard said.

It was Garrus turn to laugh. “Not from my point of view. The only thing more well-oiled than your weapons and ammo is your armor. You should get a hobby. I don’t think you’re as limited by scars on the dating scene as I am…still looking for that ideal Krogan woman. Unless you’re looking for her, too. We could go back to Tuchanka.”

“You could stop talking now, Garrus.” Shepard was getting testy.

“Sorry about Liara. That was just odd. You could find someone new. Boyfriend, girlfriend. I actually have no idea what you’re in to. Asari don’t give a person much to go on. Joker likes the computer. The Doctor likes no one. Are all you humans so strange?” Garrus finished asking Miranda. He was clearly not looking at Shepard or he would have dropped dead from the death glare he was getting from her.

“I’m hardly the worlds expert on humans and dating. I brought one back to life. That took a great deal of skill, but I’m afraid that makes me more Frankenstein than St. Valentine.” Miranda tried to appear nonplussed wondering how she got involved in this conversation.

“You’re very attractive for your species. Everyone talks about it. Surely, you could have your pick of anyone in your species. Shepard saved the damned Galaxy, by Turian standards as a warrior she could have her pick of any mate, doesn’t that hold status with your species? Couldn’t she not be going through such a dry spell?” Garrus didn’t turn to Shepard on what he imagined was a silent protest. Shepard looked like she might rip his armor off. “You’re an attractive female Miranda. Everyone watches you, even though they clearly fear you, I imagine for any number or reasons. Cerberus. You can kill anyone with your Biotics…perhaps even Jack. You’re cold as ice, but still they persist in looking…which I think you could kill them for if you were a bit more unforgiving.”

“Is there a point coming soon to this Garrus?” Miranda was watching Shepard literally trying not to do backflips by trying to appear impassive while losing her mind, clearly wanting to be anywhere but around this conversation, and wanting to die or kill Garrus… it was a bit unclear.

“Well, if you’re the two most desired women on the ship, you have the highest status, and your species does not preclude same sex coupling, why wouldn’t the two of you be together naturally and pragmatically. If you dated anyone else, it would be a step down the ladder for either of you. I have basicly no options on a Cerberus vessel, but from my perspective and looking at the math of the thing…”

Shepard finally found her voice and could take no more, “This-is-the-part-where-you-shut-up, Garrus.” Every word out of Shepard’s mouth was clipped in a staccato tone that could not be missed. Garrus just tuned into the world and realized he went from friend to friend who had seriously fucked something up. Something probably human, so there was no graceful way to save this. The only person there to give him context clues was the XO of the ship, Miranda Lawson, who was looking befuddled, which was better than Shepard’s expression…livid.

“I was just leaving.” Garrus said. “But I think you can kill anything we might find with that glare, Shepard.” His humor fell flat with the Commander, but Miranda found it funny. Garrus moved quickly to the elevator, Shepard paused for a moment when Miranda didn’t follow the Turian immediately into the elevator. 

Shepard bombarded Lawson with her Shepardness. Too close to her space, but she had missed her scent. She had a clean shower coconut with lavender that she smelled of fresh from the shower. Her armor was cleaned and oiled to perfection. Her guns even smelled of being well oiled and perfectly clean, which was perfectly insane given how much use everything got.

Was Shepard sitting up in her cabin tinkering and cleaning. She certainly wasn’t eating.

“After this mission. Promise me we can talk. Even if it’s only to tell me to fuck off. I don’t know what I did wrong, but please.”

There were so many angry accusatory things Miranda wanted to say, but instead she met her eyes evenly and simply said, “Yes, Commander, I promise.”

The Spectre seemed to have been holding her breath and let go, “Thank you.”

“Shepard, one other thing…two really…before we go into this mission. Anytime the Illusive Man has sent us directly into a mission he knows more than he’s letting on…and this feels wrong. I’ve known him since I was a teenager. I’ve worked on so many missions with him. He’s holding something back. It might not be vital to the missions, but he’s not showing the whole hand…and I might need a favor…I told you early on in the mission about my father being a controlling man…there’s more to it than that…it’s how I ended up with Cerberus. He may have found my twin sister. Cerberus has kept her hidden…I think that’s what this encrypted email is about. I have to be loyal to them. It’s not just my life that hangs in the balance, Shepard.”

“Wow. Tall order from not talking. Anything else?” Shepard did her now signature move of moving in even closer.

Shepard usually smelled of dried sweat a little; she was constantly working out to keep her battle form. 

The intoxicating aroma was annoying. 

It was just sweat, but with the former Alliance Officer it was somehow more. It was sweat mixed with all their shared battles on the battlefield. Sweat mixed with sex, fear, nightmares, and tinged with pain, all of which lead to a dark intimacy shared that neither were willing to talk about much less acknowledge on a conscious level.

“No, of course not, Commander.” Miranda removed herself from Shepard’s zone. But before Shepard could let her snake away she caught her by the waist.

“Please be extra careful out there today.” Shepard drew her in for a quick peck on the lips, after weeks without any contact, it was fireworks to Lawson, and judging by the slight hitch in Shepard’s voice it was true of her as well, “If you don’t trust the Illusive Man, perhaps we should go with a Beta squad.”

“No, he thought we should go now, and he says its derelict. Quick strike team. If we go with two, we are doubling down on disbelief and possibly risking more crew.” XO Lawson was being reasonable in this. “True we could be taken out, but this is also your A-Team. We’re rested. If any three man squad can survive it is us…unless you want to go with two biotics then put in Jack. She’s insane, but fantastic in battle. She’ll kill me when the mission is over, if we survive, but for now…either Jack or Garrus.”

“I’ll tell Garrus to stand down. Well take Jack, thanks.”

“Not because he pissed you off?”

“Anything that can distract should be pulled.” Shepard stated.

“Then you should pull me.” Miranda stated.

“No, you’re too good, and I was flirting with you before anything happened. Unless you need me to pull you.” Shepard watched her reaction intently.

“What? No! I’m the best at covering you. Most are too aggressive like you. I do move everything at a good pace, but I have to watch every cool down with everyone, except Samara. No one covers you or the others the way I do. Plus, my powers enhance the whole team. I’m perfect as the only biotic who plays both offense and defense. Plus, I’m good with a side arm. I have to be, since you run around with that damn modded shot gun, you know there are better guns.”

“But not more fun guns.” Shepard smiled that same lop-sided half smile.

“Just stop that right now…that damn gun will be the death of you.” Miranda crossed her arms.

“Pretty sure it will be a collector or a reaper, but I appreciate the sentiment.” Shepard was enjoying the damned banter. Truth be told, Miranda was too. 

“Go, get your guns and go. We can pick this up after we deal with 100 million-year-old ship that destroyed Turians, because that sounds appealing. I’d rather fight Mercs than what Illusive Man isn’t telling us.”

“Mount up; we have to rush over to a ship that’s been waiting for 100s of millions of years? On the surface of it…yeah, this seems and looks…off. But hey, it has gotta be dead after this long. Maybe it is haunted and there’s booty we can score off of it.” Shepard laughed. “Grab your gear.”

“Do you think the Turian will think any more about us?” Miranda asked quietly.

“Naw, he’s been trying to hook me up with potential fuck buddies on this ship the last few weeks. He thinks I seem despondent. He’s mentioned you before, though he thinks he we would kill each other, but from a power standpoint, it would be the best power couple on the ship. He’s pragmatic.”

“Great my Turian, Yenta” Miranda muttered.

“Wait, he is trying to hook you up with everyone? Why?”

“Because of Liara. He knows things didn’t work out; thought he doesn’t know why. He doesn’t know I was seeing you.” Shepard said. “Now let’s go look at some relics.”

With that Shepard was out the door, and Miranda couldn’t make her feet move quite yet. The Turian was Shepard’s best friend on the ship. So, Chambers was wrong. Or they didn’t work out after…but they weren’t together now either way.

Miranda was elated. Guilty. And completely fucked up. This was the best/worst news that could have happened. Which made her a complete jealous bitch for no good reason, and Chambers damn shitty at her job. 

Fuck.

On the upshot she might get to make it up to Shepard…if she wasn’t still mad at her…

***

This mission went to shit quickly when they had discovered they had been betrayed by the Illusive Man. He could say he had not betrayed them, but he had. Faking the Turian emergency call was exactly the thing he would and could do.

The Illusive Man didn’t bank on EDI figuring it out. 

He was just banking on the fact that somehow Shepard would pull a rabbit out of a hat and they would survive the mission, which was dicey at best.

It was highly unlikely the entire ground team and the Normandy would both make it, which meant he thought he thought he could hand over the mission to Miranda or Jacob this late in the game with most of the team built…or Shepard was that good. Miranda wasn’t thinking clearly enough through anger hitting her on all sides.

Since neither Jacob nor she were alerted, she assumed he found them interchangeable. Miranda had already pieced this together which meant Chambers had. Chambers was Cerberus she would have picked up on that, too.

True, Shepard was pissed and covering for the Illusive Man’s ass for the sake of the mission right now as everyone disbanded from the conference room, Miranda hung back. 

Shepard did a double take as she noticed that as she was walking out, Miranda was in the back of the room. The Commander paused. 

“EDI seal the doors.” Lawson spoke and nodded to the Spectre.

“EDI turn off any listening devices, and make sure The Illusive Man does not have access to any data on this ship or anything in this room.” Shepard finished.

“Logging you out Shepard.” EDI said impassively.

“I guess things have gotten a little out of control.” Shepard started.

“Well, I hadn’t planned on the Illusive Man trying to get us killed today.” Miranda said smoothly. She was pissed at him at the moment. She could funnel her anger into that for the moment.

“It hasn’t just been today. I’ve been awful, for a…whatever we are. Whatever I’d like us to be…or maybe give us a chance to be.”

“Which obviously isn’t exclusive.” Miranda said coolly.

“Jesus, Miranda it was one kiss, and I hadn’t seen her in two years her timeline and I’d been in dead in mine. Cut me some slack.” Shepard looked tired.

“You’re telling me you didn’t screw you’re pretty blue Asari?” Miranda hated the fact Shepard could make her jealous. It’s not like they were dating.

“What? No! I thought you had the place bugged, or I would I have told you as much and not assumed you knew better. I mean, sure I would expect the crew to think whatever they thought, but I thought “you monitored” everything. We had a few drinks and talked about old times. Plus, I’m pretty sure she was screwing that Feron, guy.” Shepard sulked. “Is this the reason you’ve been ignoring me? Liara?”

“You got so angry from before, I decided to give you your privacy.” Miranda rushed forward in an explanation that suddenly sounded very lame.

“Oh, well. Nothing happened. Not that she doesn’t look good in a dress, but I didn’t screw her. I even gave you that promotion so you could have the freedom you wanted and the authority, but then I thought…well…I just assumed you were done with me. You don’t do emotions.” Shepard seemed listless.

“Oh, bloody hell Shepard, I thought you were mooning after Liara.” Miranda was exasperated.

“No, I wasn’t mooning after anyone, and if I was it would have been you, you damned idiot.” Shepard snapped back. 

“Forget I said anything, we should just concentrate on the mission.”

“After today, I could use some benefits.” Shepard was deeply annoyed. “Your fucking boss is going to get us killed, we could at least enjoy the perks I’ve found for this job. Forget it.” Shepard turned on heel and was a good two steps ahead of Miranda.

Miranda had to call and be all-in at this moment or drop it forever. Luckily, when it came to Shepard her body seemed to move of its own accord and just bolted forward. Good to know, it wasn’t just an arm that could betray her…she could add feet and a vice grip of hand to that list.

As seemed per the norm, Mirandas actions and words didn’t match her current state. She’d been waiting for anything from Shepard. Any signal. Anything. This was a glowing neon sign. If she didn’t act now, well, timing was everything with Shepard.

Spinning her around and kissing her sounded like a good plan to her body, but she smacked her forward and managed to bite a lip and draw a little blood from one or both of them. Smooth it was not.

When Commander Shepard got over this initial sting she just started to laugh. It was one of relief. 

“Well, usually, I’m the one that is that smooth,” drawing back her hand where Miranda had hit/bit her lip.

“Jackass.” Miranda hit her in the shoulder. But the tightness in her chest was gone.

“I need a drink.” Shepard countered. “You’re place or mine. Or should I order up room service. Hell, we can have a drink in the Cargo Hold for all I care.”

“How about your place?” Miranda asked.

“I thought everyone watched my place.” Shepard said.

“Chambers does, but she can bloody well fuck herself. I’ll put on a bloody show after today, even if we don’t fuck, I’ll make sure Chamber’s and the Illusive Man think we are. “Miranda said.

“Why?” Shepard asked.

“After bloody well nearly getting me killed, he can think I’m screwing your brains out for all I care, and Chambers can be jealous. Plus, if you play your cards rights, you damn well might get lucky. I could use some good sex before we get killed saving the galaxy.” Miranda finished her tirade.

“You don’t really mean that.”

“I mean it about the drink and the sex, I actually don’t care about the two of them.” Miranda intertwining her fingers on hand with Shepard’s, oddly this might have been one of the most intimate things she had done with Shepard gently flicking her thumb inside the other woman’s palm.

“We do have to be up early, and you do need your sleep.” Shepard gave her the lopsided smile she hadn’t seen in weeks, and she rewarded her with a rare smile back, but one that touched her eyes. The one that Shepard so cherished.

“EDI.” Miranda started.

“Yes, Operative Lawson.” EDI said, automatically responding to her name.

“Log Commander Shepard off tomorrow to recuperate from the mission, my orders, based on my scientific data of her cybernetics, and I’ll be working out of my office. That’s all EDI.” Miranda said.

EDI, “Yes Operative Lawson. Is this part of Operation Mongoose?”

“Yes, EDI.” Shepard chimed in. “Yes, it is. Turn yourself off and all monitoring devices.”

“Logging you off, Shepard.” EDI stated and snapped off.

“We could start right here.” Shepard looked positively starved and like Miranda was her next meal. She couldn’t say she minded it. Where her body had been absent any attention, it seemed all abuzz.

“That’s not really fair, Commander.” Miranda started. “I can’t exactly get past your armor.”

“You can if I show you how.” Shepard smiled her best Shepard smile.

“Well, anything to add to my education. How can I resist? Can any of this be accessed from the outside?”

“This armor, yes. In case medical personal needs to get to you. Here, push here.” And the armor obeyed releasing the chest plate.

Miranda smiled. “Well, at least you started with one of the best parts.” 

“I’m pretty sure you can figure out the rest based on the starting point.” Shepard said starting to push Miranda back on the conference table. 

As Miranda triggered the legs and codpiece she smiled, “I do believe you’re right. This does level playing field a bit.”

Shepard already had her helmet off during the meeting. “I could just leave the boots and greaves on to handicap you?” Miranda offered.

“How would that give you the advantage?” Shepard started, but Miranda had already decided to pay Shepard back for their first encounter. The material underneath the armor was thin and breathable. With her hands being gloved by armor and her feet being heavily booted, Miranda used a gentle biotic blast to push and hold Shepard to the wall.

“What’s this?” Shepard asked.

“Just a reminder of how we met.” Miranda had used her powers during sex before, and they had a few established rules, but Miranda remember Shepard pinning her to the wall in the cargo and caressing her clit through her cat suit until she came on a nervous spur of the moment disjointed affair that had begun on all this. Both had been too nervous to say anything to break the moment or stop.

Clearly Shepard didn’t think that kind of moment could be duplicated. Miranda kissed her cheek, "EDI, unlock the door." then she began to bite down her neck intermittently teasing her ear. She had Jane Shepard’s full attention. She let her hand slip down past her thin garments that separated shirt and pants. By the time she felt past a small patch of red hair she was greeted with nothing, but sheer slick folds and a half groan muttered shriek erupted near her ear. Miranda kept Shepard pinned there with no choice but to just feel whatever Miranda was doing.

Shepard often liked things kept simple, sometimes extremely so. 

After a moment of adjustment and making certain that Shepard was soaked through and dripping wet across her clit just borrow a few slick strokes from her heated source, Miranda pulled back and just set a steady slow but ever evolving pace that slowly picked up as she stroked her across Shepard’s clit.

Originally, she left it buried in her folds, and let her just keep getting slicker. Shepard was entranced. Normally she would be much more passionate at least stealing a kiss here or there, but in the case, she was riding the waves of intensity and Miranda did not disappoint. In the few days they had spent together, Miranda learned many tricks to Shepard’s body, so when the time was right she pulled back the hood from her clit making certain that Commander stayed well lubricated and she didn’t have to go far to add in a deeper stroke here or there. But as everything intensified, she closed in on her tight nub and whispered, “Come for me.” In her ear. A few moments later… Shepard grabbed her hand stopping her but keeping her fingers over her clit. She could feel her pulse pounding through it.

Shepard squawked out something that might have been a cry or a few words, Miranda wasn’t certain, but it felt good for the shoe to be on the other foot. Making someone come in their pants, felt pretty good. Having been on the receiving end of it out of nowhere…it also felt pretty bloody good too, when you got over the childish nature of it. Like being back in school, which neither of them attended…Shepard because she lacked formal education and Miranda because she had tudors, but surely that sort of thing happened.

After a few minutes, Shepard loosened the death grip on Mirandas wrist, and found her voice.

“So that’s what that feels like.” Shepard said. Her voice was raspy and dry, and she was just coming back to the regularly scheduled reality.

“What don’t you do that to all the girls? “Miranda asked, smirking, though not sure that she wanted to know the answer.

“No, no. Just that one time with you. I think that was the most nervous I’d ever been.” Of course, you already know I like you, so it doesn’t have that same fear factor.

“Doesn’t have the same fear factor? Have you seen you kill everything in your path? And I let you keep part of your armor on, and I pinned you against a wall. You have killed for less.” Miranda smiled and rested against her shoulder for a moment.

“I have never killed a woman who could do that to me with 2 fingers for fucks sake.” Shepard laughed and sighed contentedly. Miranda had ducked down enough that Shepard put her chin on top of her head.

“You do realize we’re ridiculous. The sex I’ve had in my past has been much more aerobic.” Miranda said.

“Do you miss it?” Shepard looked down at her. Her eyes were heavily lidded. She was tired and relaxed.

“No, we have plenty of those sessions as well. C’mon let’s get you to bed before you fall down.”

“Don’t be ridiculous you haven’t even had a go or two, yet.” Shepard said, stifling a yawn. Plus, I’ve missed you enough for weeks on end. True, we nearly died today, but we could die any day.”

“Here’s let’s put your armor back on you so you don’t have that, I just got fucked out of my armor look, and come back with me. We can go to bed. We can take things to the next level.” Miranda smiled.

“Dare I ask?” Shepard offered a tired smile.

“Sleeping in the same room; sleeping in the same bed. No tricks. I might even let you spoon me.”

“Lawson. That’s so domestic.” Shepard said stifling her second yawn.

“If you can make it down the hall to the elevator.” Miranda said helping her back into her armor.

Shepard walked on autopilot to Mirandas quarter’s and shirked off her armor and was instantly naked. Miranda was going to give her sleep clothes, but Shepard had managed to crawl into bed and look incredibly cute and surprisingly vulnerable unconscious.

Miranda had never actually shared a bed with anyone, forcing her lovers to leave. She stood confused for the moment since Shepard passed out on Mirandas side of the bed, but she gave an even sigh and laid down on the other side after shirking off her own clothes. She often slept in the nude. And tried to get comfortable laying in the opposite direction. 

Without two moment’s notice, Shepard had wrapped her up in her arms, completely unconscious as far as Lawson could tell, “Ahhh, Miri” she muttered pleasantly.

Miranda was surprised, both because it was her childhood nickname that she had once liked, and two no one she knew had ever known that who would have come in contact with Shepard. She liked that name on Shepard’s lips and being in her arms. She had never truly been in anyone’s arms like this, she wondered if Shepard had ever truly shared a bed. 

When they had been together before it was pretty much all action and then Miranda had slept on the couch leaving the Spectre to sleep in the bed.

A sudden foot cramp pulled Miranda out of her revelry and she massaged it away. She moved to find a sleepy Shepard looking at her still holding her for the most part. Shepard invading her space with her Shepardness and that damn lopsided smile.

“What?” Miranda asked harsher than she meant.

“Just thinking Christmas came early this year.” And she wrapped Miranda back in her arms who gave no protest, and after a few seconds snuggled in and relaxed her body. “Gnite, Miri.” And before Miranda could answer, Shepard was asleep. She could hear her breathing change and even out deeply.

Miranda sighed contentedly. This wouldn’t be a bad end, albeit it for a few days or weeks. It was a suicide mission after all. Then the worst thought or the best thought, she wasn’t sure which struck her…what if they didn’t die? She was ill equipped to think of that ending. Shepard was a pleasant distraction, nothing more.

A very pleasant one.

But what if…

If she was going to think that way she should get out of the bed. 

No one could survive the Omega 4 relay. This was the best way to go out. Bloody hell, just enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment if you want some more...we could go 5-10 chapters if there is any interest.
> 
> Peace.

**Author's Note:**

> Closer to when the series was released the stuff was more toward cannon, but hey...WTF do I know?
> 
> Let's see if there's any audience for this stuff, now.
> 
> So expect Femslash, humor, action adventure, angst (I like angst when I write fanfic), and maybe I'll tie up my other series. Pretty much all writers are on hold...so...if there's an audience...I'll do a bit of writing.
> 
> Leave a comment of something.
> 
> Obviously next chapter, F/F Mature, Angst, Humor, Action adventure...unless people want something else...or no1 reads this...


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